So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
Just looked in the mirror and i look like ive been gang banged. Im so proud of my boyfriend it almost hurts
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Oh my god please beg your father to turn the car around so you can possibly get laid by a knight at medieval times.
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Randomize
