i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
Just had to kick my 26 yr old boyfriend out of my bed before getting the kids up for school. Have I mentioned being 41 doesn't suck as much as all the hype.
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
Randomize
