At my boss' house at a bbq. Had a few beers. Taking a poop - there's no TP...this is my nightmare.
Why don't I have your new number? And who have I been texting?
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
so do you, all the weight can't fall on me. I'll befriend a ball pit owner if you will befriend a drug dealer. teamwork.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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