I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i did the 'picked up item' thing from zelda when i jizzed on her face
so you're single again?
yea but it was worth it
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
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I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
He said I could liberate his beef and all I could think about was how I don't eat veal for political reasons.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
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Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
i got to his house for our first date at the same time as his dealer, so what I'm saying is I'm in love
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
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