I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
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