he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
so, she was so drunk she tried stabbing me with a corn dog stick
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
im drinking out of a pineapple, so yea.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
