Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
I told you when I started the only reason I was gonna coach your kids soccer team was that I could meet all the hot soccer moms. So why are you so mad I slept with your ex?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone says I win the strip club
He asked if I was a pirate because my "arrrrrrrrse" was worth burying. 10/10 for effort, 20/10 for serial killer vibes.
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
the universe is starting to freak me out.. ive now had sex with 3 people who were born on the same day..
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
Randomize