Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
Randomize
