Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
woke up holding a soft boiled egg cup and empty bottle of rum. apparently i couldn't find a shot glass
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
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