no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I have bruises covered in glitter and someone just asked me if I realized I'm bleeding from both ears. This is awkward.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Ive seen his manscaping faults. Given the choice I'd rather dry hump a cactus
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Randomize
