I don't think brook has ever known best
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
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Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
right before he passed out he said "take care of your tender spirit"
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
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How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
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