Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just traded a sandwich for anxiety drugs outside the club. I fuckin' LOVE this place.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
