Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
She kept saying "I didn't do it" but she was so drunk she forgot her pee was orange from her UTI medicine.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean I'm so obviously classy currently laying in bed watching a movie while finishing my drink from last night
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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