Every morning i wake up and check his twitter like a horoscope
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
I AM VODKA MAN
the girl whose rug I peed on is here
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I have hit the ultimate fuck buddy status. We pulled over in a construction zone to have a quickie.
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
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