Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
who knew tequila and Christmas cookies would go so well together
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
My son's girlfriend just thanked me for having good penis genes.
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