youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I threw up in the kitchen on the floor and a guy tried cleaning it up with a spoon at a party.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HOLY FUCK i just remembered we had bows and arrows and firecrackers last night
and flaming arrows and vodka
how did we not set your garage on fire
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize