Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
And I got shut down by a ginger. It was a weird night
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Randomize
