oh god the rape fog is back!
FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Randomize
