My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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