there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
I am available for nakedness
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
