i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Her throat is strong enough to gargle peanut butter. I'm sure you were satisfied.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
Randomize
