the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
The condom broke. Its OK tho, turns out I was just humping her thigh for 20 minutes. Jager dude, Jager.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
Randomize
