just tell him i said nine months
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
I found his backpack for the weekend. All it had was ping pong balls, mardi gras beads, and Tums.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??