i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Randomize