i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Haha. Fifty shades ain't got shit on me. My tits look like they got in a fight.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
