Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I may be in the process of acquiring a second male fuck buddy and dating a girl....FUCKING STOP THE TRAIN I'M ON! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!!
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
