She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
This is love.
Which part? The alcoholic cupcakes or the lesbian st paddys day party?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
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