Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
Randomize
