Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
In the hospital waiting to be tested for the first uti of the school year....I'm BACK BTICHES.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
is it possible that there's a used condom holding pennies in my bra? I'm so confused on what happened last night...
since when did our medecine drawer and our sex drawer become the same drawer? we now have lube covered cough drops.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize
