Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
this isnt the person you just texted but i have her phone. she disappeared when the bacon came home and she hasn't returned since.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
Shit. Come in my room. Bring a trashcan and an icepack
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Ladies, we have an appointment at David's Bridal aurora this coming Sunday at 3pm. And an appointment at where ever tequila is served at noon.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
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