Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
A huge penis doesn't warm the soul. Or that's what I've had to tell myself.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
Randomize
