the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I was wrong being drunk doesn't make accounting more interesting
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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