Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
Why did you put hummus in my pillow case?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
exactly. I want him to have to live with the fact that he fucked me. I want him to look me in the eye and say "you were a drunken mistake".
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
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