I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
is wine microwaveable?
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
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