Where you are. You must stay where you are are
Where you are. You must stay where you are arewhere are youu
Where you are. You must stay where you 5eare wher are you!!
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
We're too lazy to do dishes, so we're making sangria in a flower vase.
Your remote is drenched in lotion and you expect me to believe you weren't masturbating?!
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I’m sorry, some of us common-folk don’t have access to steady dick
Randomize
