Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
Actions speak louder than pants.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Exotic beer tasting at my apt right now and by that I mean I bought random beer and I'm drinking it on my balcony
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
Well I smoked some weird shit and I think I peed on my phone.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
Randomize
