porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Yo I get this girl alone in my room last night but she bounces cus she thought the full house poster was "weird"
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
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