Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I miss living with her. She was the only person who was a bigger train wreck than I am.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
This is the third time this year I've whored myself for a Netflix login. If this guy changes his password, I'm gonna fucking give up.
Or maybe pay for Netflix?
I'm not that desperate yet.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
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