I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
