I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
How ya feelin sunshine?
Like a million dollars! ... That has been hit by a bus, drowned under water and beat repeatedly by a shovel.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
Randomize
