Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
The cop didn't care that I was peeing on the wall of my dorm building... All he said was, "come on, it's 9am."
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
Just described you as looking like "a very cute escapee from an Egyptian insane asylum"
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
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