Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
Her boobs were tiny. I could have used her bra as a blind fold. Which in hindsight would have made things a lot better.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
