so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
Found my shoes and purse. They're all strapped together in my neighbor's tree. Need to borrow your ladder. Thanks in advance
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
The staples of my diet are Labatt Blue, Xanax, and brick cheese.
I should have never moved out...
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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