I hate my date so much right now for even thinking I want to do the electric slide.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
I thought 4 percs were too many but I'm dumping Gogurt on apple pie and taking giant bong rips. This feels right.
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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