I woke up on my floor...
I woke up with colors of the wind playing on repeat on my laptop...
I just got hit in the face by an old lady love handle.
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
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