**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
i told him to take shots to cure a hangover and he told me i was "walking the steppingstones to alcoholism"
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
This could help me cancel out guys. First 4 that text me get to stay in the loop. And the last one gets the boot. We'll do this til there's only one man standing
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
He said I was almost as good as the wheel chair sex he had the night before. Apparently I just cant compete with 4 wheels
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
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