I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Currently at a bar observing the mating patterns of drunken people in their 60s. This is hilariously terrifying. Hope he has Viagra.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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