I can tuck mytits in my pants
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
Costco cheesecake and whisky. A night made in heaven
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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