wait, did i just see you litter out your window??
umm, i have a hybrid. it cancels out.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
Randomize
