Whats the opposite of morning wood? Whatever its called, everyone saw it when it fell out.
Chris' response to jim throwing up was taking off his shirt and saying WHO WANTS A BONER
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Hypothetically, if a stripper with braces bites you on the cleavage and it leaves an open wound, do you need a tetanus shot?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
Yiu ever laugh so hard you stop breathing? Turns out weed -can- kill you.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
Made it to the top o the stairs ALIVE YES FUCJ YOU GRAVITY
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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