On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
