moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
if it walks like a guido and talks like a guido, i'm gonna fuck it.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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