i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
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I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
How much morphine is too much? Keep in mind that I'm going to my graduation dinner with my parents.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
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