I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
im trying to stop thinking of him and his amazing dick. every time i do i snap myself with a rubber band. classical conditioning at its finest...and you said i wouldnt learn anything from psychology.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I feel like just to watch it, I need to be high. To understand it, I'd need enough drugs to kill an elephant.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
Randomize
