It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
We should probably feel disgusted that we took turns eating and drunkenly passing around a burrito the size of a small dog but i’m ok with it.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Randomize
