you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Just faked two orgasms bc I had too much wine and remembered mid sex that I bought doritos yesterday.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize