Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
My vagina senses are tingling. I know your here.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
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