Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I am disappointed by everyone's lack of ability to dance on a stripper pole:(
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
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