The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
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