So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
Going to spend my cab money on more shots and just take the ambulance home
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
Oh man 11pm. That means it's time to take my shirt off an eat a brownie
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize
